Ever feel like you are doing everything the opposite of how it should be done? Gotten the contrary result of that which you sought? Like you’re getting more things wrong than right?

Congratulations, you’re doing life right.

We learn from failure, we grow from mistakes, we gleen truth from experiencing its absence. Learning how to fail is actually critical to our social and moral development as well as our overall mental health. Developing resiliency requires a (at least somewhat) challenging life; in essence, we should seek not to lead a life free of obstacles, but instead one that includes the tools to get over them.

With that in mind, I’d like to share my biggest “failures” to date. Some of which have turned out to be my biggest successes, others for which the universe is still providing lessons, or some shit like that (it’s all about reframing, remember?).


1. Motherhood.

Seriously. I fail at this all day every day. But you know, the kids are still alive and stuff so. . . I also succeed, somehow, and despite the odds. Then I read stuff from other moms (see list, below) and remember that a) I’m normal(ish) after all, b) we’re all fucking this up together and c) kids don’t need perfect, they just need love. PHEW. It’s going to be okay, my hairstylist therapist said so.

Reading To Make Yourself Feel Better:

2. Doing things in moderation.

Okay, well, by things I actually mostly mean exercise, I’m pretty good at balancing the rest of my shit (except for um, finances). And by moderation I mean normal people kinds of working out habits. You know, like only once a day. Or, gasp, even maybe only a few times a week. It’s just not in my blood. Why run a 5k when you could do a 200 mile relay? Rest day? What the hell is that?

3. Dancing.

See above. This task is also not in my blood. Then see below. Don’t give a shit. Gonna do it anyway.

4. Following the crowd down the beaten path.

I love examples, I use inspiration and I seek to model my behavior after those for whom I hold reverance. However, I’m going to do this in my way, on my terms and with conscious effort and decisions for my actions and reactions. The only “right” way is the way that works in my life.

5. Being in charge of whiners. I mean, um, being a School Administrator.

Really. There are some things I am really skilled at. This (at least at present) is not one of them. This is also a good thing, because that working lifestyle sucks every living breath out of you. Thanks, but no thanks.

6. Saying “No.”

I don’t like to say “no,” (unless, apparently, it’s to my children, in which case it’s my most favorite word in the history of time). I like being a “yes” girl. However, as is evidenced by my schedule, this creates some logistical problems in the time-space continuum as there is little availability in my life for things like say, sleep, or, grocery shopping.

7. Doing nothing.

Um, about that. I’m not so great at stationary activity. Or being still. The closest I get is the five minute savasana at the end of a yoga class and even that is a stretch (haha, literally. Get it? A “stretch.”). But really, single tasking is not my strong suit. And am I busy? Uh, that’s the understatement of the year. My google calendar makes the rainbow jealous (see #6, above). I’m not so sure this if is a good thing or not. For now, it just. . .  is.

8. Making a mistake an exclusive event.

Missed my latest shit show? Don’t worry, it’s playing again next week when I deliberately choose to make the exact same erroneous decision(s), but in an entirely new setting; you know, to test the theory out some more. Turns out some things I simply prefer to learn six or seven times, just to make sure I’m really wrong. Because maybe I’m not. . .this time.

9.  Being Martha Stewart.

Damn. Guess I’m gonna have to give up on that quixotic idealism. Oh darn. Wait, nope. Not darn at all. We share initials but not perspectives. I can cook, bake, sew, get my craft on, fix shit and throw shindigs with the best of ‘em, but uh, that’s not my whole life. THANK GOD.  And let’s be honest, my house is just.not.that.clean. Tidy? Yes. Free of dust? Um. Don’t look behind the couch. Okay, or under the beds. Or uh, behind the doors. Just stay in the central areas and no one gets hurt. I swear.

10. Sticking to the plan, the list, or the agenda.

Insert guilty blushing face emoticon here. Or actually, maybe don’t. Maybe put in the high five image instead. I am not the kind of person who does things because you are supposed to, I “said so,” or because someone else told me to to do it. Shocking news, I know. I may be a planner, but I’m also quite distractable flexible (and not just at yoga either). I often start out the day with a good framework of how my day is going to go and then. .  . “SQUIRREL!” Something else happens instead, and I LOVE it.  Again, #6 comes into play here, as well as a hefty dose of rationalization and some solid rearranging of said schedule (what? I like to have my activity documented, or uh, something). But really, I think on a scale of lame to awesome of this whole serendipitious synchronicity practice here, awesome wins, no contest.

So there you have it. Life Lessons 101, again. I give myself an A+ in getting an F. Go me. Now let’s see if I can learn something from these failures today, or um, maybe tomorrow. . .

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