GUILTY

Guilt. Today I want to talk about guilt.

Now, before you start packing your bags just sit down and chill; we’re not going on that kind of trip. . . at least not this time.

Today I’m talking about the kind of guilt that is self induced.

The real kind. The ugly kind. The yucky shit.

Bluck.

Ya feeling me?

Stop for just a second, before you read any further. What’s in your head, right now, at this moment, just with the mention of the word? What do you instinctively call to mind?

When I say “guilt,” you say _____?

Got it?

Good.

Now let me ask you these three questions:

  1. Is your guilt helping you?
  2. Is your guilt helping someone else?
  3. Is your guilt generating positive change?

If the answer to any of these is no, and I’ll bet my bottom dollar it is, then well, you know what I’m gonna say here, right?

Let that shit go.

For real.

Because. . . if it’s not serving a positive purpose in your life then why keep it? Guilt is a choice. It’s self imposed. We choose to accept it. So guess what? We can choose not to accept it too.

Yup. True story. We can.

How?

Forgiveness. Acceptance. Change. Release. Integrity.

We can let guilt go right down the chute with our dirty laundry.

Really.

Guilt is the product of expectations, yours, mine and theirs. It can be our bodies natural propriety radar but also, it can eat us up inside. Guilt is is what manifests when we live either in the past or the future; it is stealing from your present. Yes. Stealing. You’re doing it.

Bet you’re already feeling guilty for feeling guilty, aren’t you?

Knock it off.

Check it out- if you already did it, then make amends and peace with it. It’s done. You can’t change it. You can’t make it better. You can only not repeat and not redo, acknowledge, learn from, and move forward.

If haven’t yet done it, but you feel badly about it, then honey, it’s time to make a decision— is it the way you want to live your life or isn’t it? Does it match your values or doesn’t it? Is it worth it or isn’t it? Are you being impeccable with your word or aren’t you?

Pick one, own it, and say farewell to the finger shaking smocked mama hanging out in your head. Turn that negative self talk channel off, right now.

Yes. Yes you can.

Here’s an example:

Earlier today I  felt guilty for going on a work trip on the other side of the continent right before I leave the country. I am missing my last few days with my kids before I go to Africa. I missed my son’s first Little League Practice. I could have taught two more classes at the college. I didn’t teach my 6am yoga class. I didn’t make it to my Wednesday night assist. I missed three networking events.

No, I won’t get this time back. No, my kids will only be this age once. No, I won’t make as much money. No, I don’t get to network with those people.

Boo-fucking-hoo.

You know what I do get to do? I get to bond with my team. I get to experience elite level training that will serve as a catalyst for growth in my life as a mother, an entreprenuer, a team member, and a human being.

After this training, I’ll be a better me.  My kids get a better mom. My work will have improved, my purpose intesified and made clearer. I’ll have cracked open a little more, and I’ll be ready to let in a little more light.

After this training, I’ll be even more full, even more ready, even more excited to be a citizen of this world.

Yeah. I’m gonna call that a win.

So I can choose. I can keep feeling guilty for missing out on stuff back home and let that guilt take away from the opportunity happening right now, or I can own my decision and enjoy every second of the next 48 hours.

I’m picking the latter. I’m gonna roll with option two. Gangster style maybe. Big pimpin’.

Kidding. But not.

Guilt gets me nowhere. Letting go of guilt, well, it gets me everywhere. Literally. Even North Carolina.

I choose to live with integrity. It’s either right or it’s not. It’s either good or it isn’t. I’m either doing it, or I’m fucking not.

The decision is mine. The guilt? There’s no room in my carry-on for that shit, as it turns out.

This is my reality, right here and right now. Mine. I accept it, and all it may bring.

Amen. The end.

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