(DON’T) FREAK OUT

I’ve been reading a lot lately about energy, about the signals, vibrations and pulses we send out, and what we receive in return.

I’m super geeking out about it. Like a lot. So much so, that if you happen to (be ever so fortunate as to) run into me in person, be prepared to hear me talk about the experiments I’ve been doing, how all matter is energy and how we, therefore, are made of energy which essentially means that what we think about is what we, um, bring about.

Yep. For real.

I used to think that was a bunch of woo-woo, hippie-dippie, cosmic crap.

Used to. Then shit life happened, and it turns out, I was wrong.

Whether you believe it is God, the universe or whatever other unexplainable force of energy you choose to recognize (or not), the deal is— you are a living breathing force that projects energy not just with each exhale, but with each thought.

You create a chain reaction of events from and with each and every emotion, thought, response and reaction you generate.

Scary shit right? I mean, that makes you rather. . . well. . . responsible for your own reality now doesn’t it?

Fuck.

But also, let’s flip that fear on its head, actually, because to be afraid of that truth is in and of itself already generating all kinds of not-so-great storylines.

Think about this— if you are afraid of your own power and spend your time worried that you are going to really screw up your life, then well, you will. If you are so concerned about what you lack, what you are doing wrong, what’s not going to work out, what you don’t have, what you can’t do, be, see, say or go and do, then you won’t ever move forward from where you are right now.

Not really.

If you view your life as one big series of problems you will remain stuck in the mud you created forever.

Lucky for you, there’s a relatively simple fix.

Calm the fuck down.

No really. CHILL.

What do I mean by this exactly? Well, a lot of things actually, but to start with, stop freaking out about everything and see what happens if you stop throwing yourself a pity party every five minutes and manifesting your own personal disaster.

Not sure what I mean? Ever read “Alexander and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”? Yeah. Well, that little dude, he created his own hot mess, and so can you. Here’s a (totally made up) scenario for you:

Your alarm clock doesn’t go off on time and you wake up with just 20 minutes until you normally leave the house. “I’m going to be late!” you shout. After rushing to get dressed you spill your coffee all over your shirt, proclaim your pending tardiness (with judicious use of profanity), change your entire outfit, get out the door and half a block away, then realize you’ve left your cell phone and wallet on the kitchen counter, right next to that damn coffee cup. Insert more creative uses of the words “fuck” and “late” here.  

I think I can wrap things up at this point, because we all know where this story is headed. You were late.

I mean, duh. Is that really a surprise to you? You declared it as soon as you woke up, reinforced it for the next twenty minutes and informed the universe constantly of your delayed arrival.

Oops.

So, here’s my suggestion (yes, again):

Calm.the fuck.down.

The next time something doesn’t go your way, don’t lose your shit. When you move too fast and something (hopefully not you) breaks, don’t panic immediately replace or repair it.  When you lose an entire hour of footage (ahem. . .) of valuable film, don’t immediately start making phone calls and checking schedules so you can fix it. When your plans change, don’t stomp your feet and refuse to see alternatives.

Stop reacting and start responding.

Here’s my challenge to you— for the next 24 hours, play scientist with me. When something goes (perceivably) wrong, do this:

  1. Take a breath, and a good look around you.
  2. Set a positive intention (ex: this will work out a different way. Something else will come up. I have other options).
  3. If immediately necessary, clean up what you must, then pause again.
  4. Get some space, change vantage points, and keep sending out that positive intention. This includes your words, by the way, so, uh, if you don’t have something nice to say then zip it.
  5. See what shows up, and receive it with gratitude.

It really works. I promise. But you’ve gotta be all in here, skepticism need not apply. If you bring doubt in, that’s what’ll stick. If you sound the alarms, that’s all the universe will hear.

For just one whole day, don’t bring the heat.

Cool? Good deal. Let me know how it goes, I’ll be watching the comments section to see what discoveries you make.

So here’s me, cheering you on from right here in front of my screen.  I believe in you. Ready?

“To Science!”

fistbump1

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NO (MORE) DOUBT

The last two weeks I’ve experienced a concerning amount (for me) of self doubt. Second guessing. Re-considering. Feeling. . . slightly inadequate.

Unwanted, maybe.

I haven’t felt like this all the time, just for moments in between all the awesome that continues to happen all around, within (and in spite of?) me. But also, more than just an ego check kind of doubt. The kind that say, creeps into your head at night, turns into nightmares and wakes you up in a cold sweat.

Yeah. That kind.

Yucky.

I’ve been sitting in this, trying to figure out exactly what that’s about, why it’s happening, and how to work through it.

Wednesday night, just before our big Girls on the Grid post came out, I finally identified a few things, right around the same time my belly started aching, again.

It’s my lower three chakras, and they’re a little. . . fucked right now. Especially the third one.

And I know why. I won’t get (way) into the details, but the short version is- I feel financially unstable and overtaxed (literally), my relationship with my mother is 50 shades of dysfunctional, and, once again, I allowed myself to get involved with a man who wasn’t giving me what I wanted. Yes. Again. I know. Sometimes I’m a stubborn learner.

So, what to do?

Meditate. Yoga. Breathe.

Try very hard not to get so fixated on the problem by locking myself into a plan for reparation, and instead, open myself up to the possibility of solutions.

 

So, you know, per usual,

LET GO.

 

I feel financially trapped because I took on too much of what I don’t want to do so I could fund what I do want to do and I’m responding by preparing to jump ship without a reliable form of life support. Um. Again.

Perhaps I can just let go of the attachment to that perception of obligitory vocation, and just let it be, no labels. No strings. No anchors. Just a means to an end. Or, maybe it’s just time to completly walk away, shut the door, and not reopen it.

My relationship with my mother won’t improve unless I release my anger and do the work. What “the work” is, I actually don’t know. I just know it’s time to do it. Good thing I’ve got 230 hours of Yoga Teacher Training just around the corner to work that shit out. I’m hoarding tissue boxes in preparation already.

And the man? Well. Here’s what I’ve learned— compromise isn’t the same as settling. Knowing who I am, how I give and receive love, and the difference between being with someone who helps me to be the best version of myself and someone isn’t ready or willing to be that man isn’t just ideal, it’s essential. I’ll wait for it, because I value myself and others enough.

And there we have it. I VALUE myself ENOUGH.

ENOUGH. Me. I am enough.

I am whole and complete as I am.

So are you. All of you.

So no more. No, no, no more self doubt. Just love.

Be love, give love, receive love.

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DANCING IN MY UNDERWEAR.

A story not shared is simply a myth- let’s make it a story that generates real change. I challenge you- post an image of your beautiful (untouched, non-photoshopped) self, include #EmpowerAllBodies, and the link to the article (http://www.girlsonthegrid.com/empower-all-bodies/).

I Calmed The F#ck Down

So this morning I woke up, checked my e-mail, and ever-so-casually helped share this collaborative article about body image with the world 

No big deal.

It’s just me, dancing in my underwear, on the internet. . . with four of the most amazing women EVER.

Really. Like EVER.

Our point, well, as we have collectively shared, is:

“It’s not about getting attention. Or being “brave.” Or pitting one against another. It’s about us all being comfortable in our own skin.. . ”

“We need to stop putting ourselves and others down. We are all beautiful. Embrace yourself and empower all bodies!”

It’s becuase we are “saying all the hard things out loud because some of us are not brave enough to. . .”

It’s because we “. . .stripped down to talk body image and self-esteem. It’s honest/unapologetic,” and we like it that way.

So yes, that’s me in my Wonder Woman…

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DANCING IN MY UNDERWEAR.

So this morning I woke up, checked my e-mail, and ever-so-casually helped share this collaborative article about body image with the world 

No big deal.

It’s just me, dancing in my underwear, on the internet. . . with four of the most amazing women EVER.

Really. Like EVER.

Our point, well, as we have collectively shared, is:

“It’s not about getting attention. Or being “brave.” Or pitting one against another. It’s about us all being comfortable in our own skin.. . ”

“We need to stop putting ourselves and others down. We are all beautiful. Embrace yourself and empower all bodies!”

It’s becuase we are “saying all the hard things out loud because some of us are not brave enough to. . .”

It’s because we “. . .stripped down to talk body image and self-esteem. It’s honest/unapologetic,” and we like it that way.

So yes, that’s me in my Wonder Woman underwear, on the internet. Yep. True story. Read it. Then you’ll understand.

Because,

This. This is how we walk our talk. This is how we love our bodies. This is how we show each other, and our children, that every BODY is different, and beautiful. This is how we ‪#‎EmpowerAllBodies‬.

My girls at @girlsonthegrid- you.are.amazing

And people, everywhere, from every corner of the planet, to the moon and back, you are too.

Amazing.

Just. Amazing.

Like this post? Post it, tweet it, pin it, google it, trip on it, or otherwise spread the social love people.Really, really, like it? Subscribe to my feed and get posts delivered in your inbox. Can’t get enough? Stalk me: @CFOLikeaMother, Facebook or Pinterest

NO CHURCH IN THE WILD

In case it wasn’t obvious, I’m a big fan of bold moves.

BIG.

Giant.

LIKE THESE LETTERS.

Why? Because big results happen with bold moves. Sometimes, a collection of small strategic moves creates big results, it’s true. That can work.

However, that’s most clearly not my first inclination.

If I fall, I want to fall hard (and probably break something). If I fail, I want to fail epically (and write about it). But if I win, I want to take home the fucking TITLE (and then break it into little pieces and give it all away, but that’s a whole different issue story).

So far, I’m following this approach fairly consistently. It’s like, one of those “one things” (except there are actually like fifteen) that I can count on myself doing, pretty much always.

Given an option to play it safe or throw in all my chips, I hold around a 0.995 average for the latter.

What has bold looked like in my life, thus far?

  • It looks like me listening to my gut, saying “yes” first and then figuring out the “how” later.
  • It looked like me cashing out my entire retirement fund at 32, abandoning careers and dropping $40k on a an real life education worth more than all my degrees put together.
  • It looked like me walking away from a toxic relationship, even though there there were casualties.
  • It looked like me sitting on the bathroom floor sobbing because I failed, big, then picking myself up and starting over.
  • It looked like me moving four times in three years to finally live where I wanted to instead of where I was “supposed to.”
  • It looks like me asking for what I want clearly and with confidence, not fear.
  • It looked like getting my heart broken because I was vulnerable.
  • It looked like trying a new job and totally sucking at it.
  • It looks like me recognizing when I have too much on my plate, and clearing the whole damn thing, even if I don’t know when or if more food is coming.
  • It looked like spending an entire paycheck on one training. Twice.

It looks, perhaps, like hasty decisions, impulsive moves, and debatable choices. Maybe they were. Maybe they are. Maybe they will be.

But this is what I know— when I listen to my gut, and my intuition says “yes,” even when my brain can’t answer “how,” it works out, every time.

Always.

When my purpose, intention and actions are aligned, bold moves become less bold. When I’m operating on that frequency, impossible things become possible.

For me, really, the only way I get shit done is when I’m all in, my fullest expression of self.

How do I know? Because believe it or not, for a period of my life, I didn’t live boldly. I didn’t live my truth. I wasn’t an authentic me, and it wasn’t good for anyone, at all.

So today, when for a sliver of a moment I find hesitation in my path, I am reminded of my purpose in this message from Theodore Roosevelt:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Go, friends, and dare greatly. Be bold. See what happens.

Try. Fail. Learn. Grow. Repeat.

Like this post? Post it, tweet it, pin it, google it, trip on it, or otherwise spread the social love people.Really, really, like it? Subscribe to my feed and get posts delivered in your inbox. Can’t get enough? Stalk me: @CFOLikeaMother, Facebook or Pinterest