Thursday, July 9, 2015. Things on my mind today:
The answer to how, is yes.
Come from you are ready now.
Give up what you must
Shut up and listen.
Yes, all of those things, and yes, they are all related, promise. And yes, I’m stuck in my headspace. Like, super stuck. Like, overanalyzing, overthinking, overobessing the details stuck.
What am I doing? With whom am I doing it? Where am I going? Who’s going with me? What do I want? What DON’T I want? Where the fuck am I?
I want some SPACE.
Lucky for me, I’m right in the middle of my summertime tour-de-self of the United States, and about to head back to Texas for round two of seven of the Live Your Yoga Baptiste Training.
Yay for yoga. Yay for (even more) traveling. Yay for Me. Yay for Austin Texas. Just, a big, giant, YAY.
I can’t wait, except that, um, the focus this weekend is on meditation.
Y’all know how I feel about that sitting still business.
However… I did just say I wanted space so. . . yeah. Asked and answered. Thanks universe. For once, I’m actually looking forward to the quiet and the stillness. For serious. I am. To throw down another Baptiste inspired quote, “the only way out is through.” If I want to get these thoughts out of my head;
I’ve got to sit with them long enough to hear what they are actually saying.
It’s my turn to listen to myself, to my gut, to my heart, so I can move forward again purposefully. Full body scan. Personal brain MRI. Weekly check-in. Shit like that.
I keep intending to do this at home; to sit down with myself and be quiet, but I don’t. Instead I keep going, moving, pushing, ignoring, adding to my to-do list without really crossing anything off, continuing to ask new questions without waiting around for an answer to the first one.
No wonder I spend so much time living in the gray zone, I’m never stationary long enough for the water to settle and turn any other color.
Busy body. Busy life. Busy mind.
An object in motion stays in motion until something of greater and of opposite force stops it. I’ve been rolling long enough this month; it’s break time. I’m ready to get clear, about being clear.
Monkey mind- OFF. Zen mode ON. Quiet time is mine. I’m owning that shit.
Bring.on.the.advil. Let’s do this. See ya on the other side.
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