There’s something so beautiful about talking things out with friends. Such an authentic person can arise in that safe space. So much truth comes out when we offer ourselves permission to be vulnerable.

It’s amazing. And powerful. Transformative, really, if we choose it to be.

That happened to me this weekend, while talking to a friend. She’s one of those humans I just get. Energetically, we match. I understand her, even though we are newer friends. That happens often in adulthood, I’m realizing. We attract people into our lives that match our vibe, and our tribe, so long as we are clear about who and what that is, anyway.

Energy. Law of attraction. Response not reaction. Clarity. Transparency. Owning your shit. Spirituality, in all of its forms. We got deep, real deep, all on a Saturday morning in Midtown.

And then, suddenly, I got it — an explanation of sorts. An obvious answer to why certain relationships, with friends, family, or romantic, have ended for me —

I bailed.

Me. When shit got messy, and I saw signs of energetic interference, I put on my running shoes and hit the trail like I stole ‘em.

My ex-husband, a former best friend, a few ex-boyfriends, my mother. . . Once I see them as a potential energy vampire, whether I’ve created that story myself or not, emotionally I’m out. Like trout.

No. No, and nope.

This is really interesting to me. Like, really really really interesting. Especially, because my line of work requires me to constantly work to read, acknowledge, and manage the energy of others, and of mine.

So now what? Because, while I’ll agree that being aware of this critical force is essential to building and maintaining healthy relationships, it’s also clearly a pattern, and it shows up elsewhere too, like, say, work.

My biggest projects are sometimes the ones I procrastinate, avoid, and then let go. If it requires more of me than I have reasonably to offer, and I know it, I’ll bow out, but not always without casualties.

On the one hand, I am relieved to recognize that I know myself well enough to walk away from things and situations that don’t serve or benefit me any longer. But, this is a slippery, and unrealistic slope. Not all things that push me to my edge are those I ought to walk away from, and not all things I would like to walk away from can be.

Some of them just stay right there, in your head, heart, or physical space. For a good.long.ass.time.

I am not tasked with changing their energy. It is also unnecessary for me to build myself a fortress of protection. It is my job, though, to create healthy boundaries, and to recognize when, how, and with whom I might let that guard down.

So what’s my take-away revelation and practice? Know my own energy. Feel it. Connect to it. Prepare myself to share it wisely each day by bringing my “I am, you are” hula-hoop wherever I go. As in, this is me, in my space, with my shit. That is you, in your space, with your shit. I am Michelle. You are you. I am Michelle, you are a student. I am Michelle, you are my friend, and so forth.

We can ride the same boat sometimes, me in my circle and you in yours. It’s possible we’ll end up merging our rings, maybe a lot.  But this time, before I react and abandon ship at the first wave, I can sit and let it rock with me a bit. Here, on this vessel, there’s enough lifeboats for everyone to exit with care.

So life, energy, universe, let’s get to swaying.  I call the turquoise one.

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