About three years ago I made a commitment to myself to just be me.
Not the me my parents wanted me to be. Not the me my 25 year old self had told myself was what happy looked like. Not the me the media told me to be. Not the me to whom the marketed dream life sold memberships. Not the me the internet lives of my social groups suggested I change myself to be.
Just me. No apologies. No exceptions. No excuses.
The struggle was, of course, I wasn’t entirely sure who that was anymore.
So I spent some time figuring that out, trying different things, people, and stories on while looking for my goldilocks moment.
I said yes to almost everything and was fearless in saying no as soon as it no longer served me, even without, actually especially without, a plan B.
I cleaned. I purged. I cleared.
I did me. Just me. Messy, authentic, real me.
I didn’t judge. I didn’t hide. I didn’t play by the rules. I was clear in my word and my choices, and present in my reality and friendships. I trusted without hesitation and placed boundaries on my true north but not my possibility. And in that freedom, I found me; the whole me.
I realized, that living as my fullest expression of self means being raw, real, and unapologetic in my choices. It means being kind, and genuine, and leading with integrity and love. It means showing up, every day, as my most compassionate true being, and in that honest action making a positive impact on the world around me.
It felt good. And right. And happier.
Then. Finally. FINALLY. I found my whole heart space. Literally.
My most perfect job came right to me, with the most amazing team, making and doing the most amazing thing and sharing it with the community so we can all be and do amazing work together. I said yes, obviously. And began the process of saying no to the rest of it.
And then, a different kind of winning play landed directly in my field of vision.
I got really content with myself, my circle, my space and being and doing me. Then I made a list.
Not a to do list.
Not a shopping list.
Not a laundry list.
THE list.
I wrote a letter to the universe about who I wanted to be with me in my space, and it was very specific. Very, very, very specific.
And the thing is, once I wrote it, I gave up all attachment to when or with whom it would arrive. I placed no judgment on or around its package, and created no expectation for delivery service. And I just kept doing me, as I am. My whole heart out, and expanding.
And guess what, or rather, guess who, showed up?
Yeah. That guy. Like, the one on that list . . .
And no, I didn’t see that one coming. Like at all. Like at all, all.
So. Here I am. Here he is. Here we go. Clear, focused, and aware, whole hearts open to space and possibility, together.
And this guy, this energy, this thing that we are doing? It’s an energetic force of nature. Two people who are up to big things coming together, and on the same wavelength isn’t just unique, it’s powerful. The things that we will do, from here, whatever they are, wherever and however they’re done, and for however long we do them, I know, for sure, will be just as magic as this part.
This is wholehearted being, doing, living and exisiting.
I have no more words, because I can’t explain it any further. It just is.
Get clear. Get open. Give and live with your whole heart. Today, tomorrow, right now, #bewholehearted.
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I want to do this, I need to do this, and I needed to see that this can be done. I knew I bookmarked your site for a reason. Now I just have to get through my sadness and my excuses and keep reading this every day. Thank you.
Mary,
I heard other people share this with me. I thought maybe it was coicidence. Or maybe it was luck. Or maybe, they just plain made it up. At some point, I was finally ready. And once I was all in, well, you know the rest. Keep reading. Keep healing. You’ll know when you’re ready. I can’t wait to read about it. ❤ Much love.