So my birthday is today and I’m now a number that is bigger than the number I was yesterday. Also, I am part of the TEDxSacramento Core team. Also, we have an event today, on my birthday. Also, also, that means I will be at TEDxSacramento, as a part of the core team, on my birthday for the birthday that is for a number that is bigger than the one I was yesterday.
Guess what else? Since last year when I was in New York City having the best.day.ever with my then-boyfriend-now-husband, we’ve done some epic shit. We got married, for that one thing, did a bunch of yoga shit, took some trips, started some projects, moved, and created some cool experiences for the kids. I earned clients and work that align with who I am as a human being and what I’m up to, started growing a baby that’s due this coming winter, oh, and in a little under a month we’ll be announcing our new yoga home, one that is partly . . . OURS.
No big deal.
That means, as it stands now, I’m doing only things I LOVE to do, with people I adore, in a city full of possibility and fun, and that the things I wrote down in my manifestations journal pretty exactly much are coming into existence.
Not because I’m just really lucky. Not only because of experience, opportunity, and circumstance. Definitely not because I forced them in. Instead, it’s because I made space, because I did, and stay committed to doing, the work, because I’m willing to try, and fail, and learn, and repeat, and because I know who I am, and I love it.
You cannot manifest the life you want until you know what it is you want. Period.
You can learn. You can experience. You can try on, and you can take off. You can find your “not this” and that will help you build your yes. Through those moments, you’ll determine what is, and is not, you. And as you go, you’ll begin to know really, truly, and deeply, what it is that you want, right now.
But what happens to most of us, is that we shut down in exploration mode. The idea of finding our passion, or knowing what the THING is, or being able to actually live that dream out can get overwhelming to the point of denial and rejection.
So we go back to the usual. We stay stuck. We don’t make progress. We find new distractions and temporary fixes and in those moments, we keep getting little signs and nudges from the universe that this isn’t quite it. That it doesn’t really fit. We know that it’s still not right, and so then, we make it about us:
We, are not right. We, don’t fit. We, aren’t enough.
But those are stories we make up to explain things to ourselves and others, and they are bullshit. Do you hear me? Bull.shit.
You are right. You do fit. You were born enough. And you deserve to live the life you love.
My advice to you today, on my birthday, as I reflect on all this year has brought for me, all that I have created, and all that I have processed through the deep deep lows and the steep, tall highs, I say to you — just keep doing you.
I promise you that if you do, and if you are willing to do the work, you will get clear. You are strong enough, you are brave enough, you are loved enough to ask for it, and to get it.
Try. Fail. Learn. Grow. Repeat. And then? Share it.
P.S. Oh yeah, I’m 26. Plus five. And then two more. And then three more after that. FINE. I am 36. And you know what? Fuck YES. That’s what.
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