What Even Is This?

Plan and control- fight, control and avoid- flight, or confusion- freeze. That’s it. That’s where I live, every day. Over, and over, and over. That, and the dishes. I haven’t been able to get to a place of grounded acceptance. I haven’t been able to stay present for more than a few minutes. I haven’t been able to hold my shit together for so much as a half a day. I’m working to be okay with that part first, before I move on to actually trying to be okay.