TAKE A LOOK AROUND

I’m sitting on my couch late at night on a Friday reflecting on this year, its lessons, its pain, its growth, and looking for the light parts. Looking hard.

I’m here in maternity sweatpants with a sweater stretched over my bouncing and expanding belly, wearing a messy bun and practically no make-up despite having gone to a movie with my family earlier this evening, and staring at half polished toes I can’t reach.

It feels a lil’ bit different than last year same time. Tad. But then again, all of 2016 felt different. And not really me at my fullest expression for a good chunk of it. It felt a little… out of body, like, literally.  

When I look at the things that make me go, the things that make me a powerful me, I don’t see many of them hidden in the remains of this year. Continue reading

Advertisements

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

Before this fuck-up of a year is over, I wanna talk about the “E” word You know, the E word. The one that gets you hurt, in trouble, puts your foot in your mouth, the stick up your ass, and your cart in front of your horse.

THE, E word.

Expectations. No, not the great ones…

I want to talk about this so we can all get clear together about the not so small truth that expectations are getting in the way of progress, and happiness, and well, life, really. Not just mine, not just yours, ours. All of ours, and often.

You see, when we expect we create a storyline in our head that must be carried out in order to feel good.

When we expect an event to go a certain way and it does we are mostly satisfied and feel right or successful. When it doesn’t, we can feel a sense of failure, of loss, of disappointment, of dissatisfaction.

Sometimes we even pout about it. For reals. Even us adults. It just looks a lot more like passive aggressive snark than it does foot stomping and bottom lip quivering, usually. Continue reading

CHOICES

You know how there are those people that just do one job their whole lives, they have one distinct style of dress and decorating, they know exactly what kind of wine to get because they always get the same one, and they’re the first one to order when you go out because they read the menu before you got there and decided between the two things that they like as soon as they sat down?

Yeah. This is not me.

I walk into BevMo and see seven aisles of floor to ceiling beer, and I can’t even figure out if I should walk right or left, or back out the door I came in. The bulk discount of six bottles or more makes me feel relieved, not because I’ll pay less, but because I don’t have to make quite as many choices. Except of course, I do. Because choosing six from 600 is just as difficult for me as one from three.  

Paralysis by FOMO.

What if I choose the wrong one? If I do this, I’m not doing that. If I choose this, I won’t have room for that.

This looks the same in my work life. Maybe I can do this. Maybe that. Oooooh, maybe that! Dinner time is not better. Don’t even get me started about shoe shopping. And on a non first world problems level, it looks the same when I’m making parenting decisions, especially about where my kids are spending time, with whom, and how.

I want to get it right.

Continue reading

LIKE REAL PEOPLE DO

As I write this, it’s now after 10pm. I’m up, working on work projects, sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend while he works on his work projects. In between, in the pause, we’re sipping wine and working on OUR project.

It’s late.

We’re tired.

And happy.

This is becoming a regular thing, the up late and working together bit. We’re building some great things, here, together, in this new space we’ve created. Some really great things, actually.

We’re taking our mutual interests and skillsets to good use, and growing something bigger than each of us. We’re making our own baby. Continue reading

BLANK SPACE

Let’s talk about space baby, Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things. And the bad things that may be. Let’s talk about space.

Yeah Like this. Salt n’ peppa style. Baby.

S p a c e

Kidding. But not.  

The last two weeks I have been playing with the concept of space, noticing where I create it in my life and what shows up as a result.

Here’s a hint— good shit. That’s what.

Real real good shit.

Remember the whole bit about quantum physics? About abundance mentality, and about how the energy you put out there is the energy you get back? Oh, and you know, that whole thing about living authentically and letting go, You know, so like, the whole theme of this blog. . .

Well, let’s break that down in a new way, for funsies, and because it’s Friday and Friday and fun are my second and third favorite “F” words. Also because I like over-explaining things.

Anyhow. . . consider, what does letting go look like in life, exactly? What does setting intentions and inviting energy feel like? What does an authentic presence require to show up?

Space. It requires space.

Because, to point out the (painfully) obvious, if every corner of our hearts, minds and time are occupied with something, be that a plan, an expectation, an attachment, a task, or whatever we’ve placed there, how can we expect to receive anything else? We’re at max capacity, no vacancy, all filled up, no room on the lot to add on, no place to expand.

Unless, of course, we make some room. Gently, organically and from a grounded response, we let go, grow, and create a platform ready to receive a new delivery from the universe.

This means then, that if you want something new then honey, it’s time to drop what you’re holding like it’s hot. Let go of the banana, release the pickles in the jar, put on your big girl panties (wonder woman anyone. . .?) and suck it the fuck up.

You’re going to be okay, I promise. Better than okay, actually. Amazing. You’re going to be even more amazing.

How do I know? I’m living in it, this space and abundance shit. I’m right smack dab in the middle of developing an awareness of my capacity to create and live the life I love. It’s blowing my damn mind.

Seriously.

It works like this: When I fill my head and heart space with things I don’t really want, when my calendar primarily reflects items that I don’t genuinely want to do, see as a chore or distraction, or are there out of guilt, obligation, fear or pressure, when I cling tightly to the WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE. . .

Well, let’s just say I’m not particularly bright and shiny then, and neither is my life.

However. . . When I take a hot minute to myself, breathe, reflect, remove the things that don’t serve me, drop my expectations, say no thank you to things that aren’t aligned with my values, goals or purpose, and say yes to what is, and above all,

When I set an intention and believe it is already mine with my whole heart and soul and then simply pleasantly wait for it,

It shows the fuck up.

Every time. Pretty much right away. Because, as another analogy, intention setting is like setting a place at the table, creating a cozy atmosphere for your guests, and then waiting for them to arrive, drink in hand, food prepared, music playing, smile on.

If you build it, they will come, right?

Yes. Right. It IS right. They WILL come.

But they can’t get there if you haven’t turned the “open” sign on yet.

So, go make the space. Build your thing. Say “no” so you can say “yes.” Wipe your plate clean so you can visit the life buffet and create your own ideal meal. You can. I believe in you. The universe believes in you. You, YOU believe in you.

Go get it.

Like this post? Post it, tweet it, pin it, google it, trip on it, or otherwise spread the social love people.Really, really, like it? Subscribe to my feed and get posts delivered in your inbox. Can’t get enough? Stalk me: @CFOLikeaMother, Facebook or Pinterest

MAGIC (AND PROOF THEREOF)

So, remember my conversation about shifting my signal, inviting more into my life, and saying HELL YES more often?

Hot damn. It is crackin’ up in here. CR-A-CK-ING.

The ceiling can’t hold me. The roof is on fire. My hands are in the air. I’m jumping around. Pushing it. There is magic happening. I’m not lost, I’m ready to Show.The.World.

Okay, if you haven’t yet caught on, I: a) have a major affection to song titles (see my spotify playlists for evidence), and b) I’m not just ready to show the world, I’m ready to share it, this new learning, with anyone and everyone. It’s just too damn powerful to keep all to myself.

Rubber, meet Road. Road, this is rubber. Get to know each other, we’re going to spend some solid time in contact for the next several decades.

Why? Magic is happening people. Miracles. And I have proof.

Yes, I said magic. And miracles. And proof. All in the same line. Yup. Because, well, that’s pretty much how it’s working as of late. Saying “yes” is changing my life, and I have (more) evidence.

Let’s first just clear up the fact that I am definitely the kind of girl who likes proof (and not just the 80% kind served up by my buddies Tito and Goose). Affirmation. Data. I want to touch it, manipulate it, play with it, see it, validate it. I like to know why I know what I know. So surprising, I realize.

Now, I have plenty of blind faith. Tons, actually. I believe in all kinds of shit I can’t see and touch but just feel. I’ve had spiritual experiences, I’ve had Angels walk with me; I’ve witnessed divine intervention.

That’s not quite what I’m talking about, yet.

When it comes to change, new ideas, concepts or thought patterns, I don’t always. . . just buy in. I’m kind of a tough sell, actually. There’s a bit of an inner skeptic in me that views things with a (glittery) scientific lens. Okay, and probably a good solid dose of righteousness too, if we’re being honest. I love learning new things, but if you don’t show me some back-up, well… I’ll just throw it in the bag with all the other bullshit I’ve archived over the years and forget about it.

So, call me Sherlock Holmes if you must, but I have been doing all this reading, and practicing, and learning about the law of attraction, the physics behind it, the neuroscience that describes how and why changing our habits, attitudes and beliefs actually impacts our lives, in an effort to grow, learn, and begin to try to explain the mysteries that exist in our world.

In the meantime, I’ve been living it, day in day out, and loving every goddamn minute of it, for sure. But still, I kind of wanted to see it. And graph it. And . . . possibly, make a list.

Happy sigh.

So, I um, did. Make a list that is.

Two weeks ago I wrote up a little inventory of some things I wanted to manifest in my life, phenomenon  I wanted to happen, miracles, lets call them, just for shits and giggles. I wrote them down, set my intention and I used the the mantra “it’s already mine” anytime I thought of them.  By doing so I stepped into each day with a solid confidence as I allowed the universe to hold space for me so I could let go and let them happen.

And then I watched to see what came out of it next.

Um. They happened. Or, rather, they are happening. Like, all the time. ALL THE TIME.

Check it; here is just a sample of what has happened, just a SAMPLE, not even the full list of miraculous events in the last week (disclaimer- me walking on water is not one of them. Ditto to water turning into wine, so don’t like, get your hopes that high):

  1. I wanted to go to an inspirational talk, but couldn’t justify the expense. Guess what I did on Friday afternoon? Just guess. Hint- I was in San Francisco, ocean front, for a total cost of zero dollar bills, with Susanne Fucking Conrad. SUSANNE CONRAD people. Haven’t heard of her? Put seeing her on your to-do list. Guarantee you won’t regret it.
  2. I was feeling weighed down and bored by my old decor, from my old life, from my old house and could feel it holding me back from progress. There was too much of it, and it no longer represented this version of me. So, to change things up I wanted to purge and redecorate more minimally, but on the cheap (read, free). Through a social media site with fellow moms in my community, within 24 hours of posting I sold almost all of my major pieces and already started purchasing new ones, and for less money. For example, I sold an area rug for $100 and bought a new one for $60. Yes. Profit. Progress. Made some, and in 24 hours with maybe an hour of effort. Helllllooooo new clean look.
  3. I wanted a new purse, a turquoise one as I was feeling a little . . . uninspired by my swag. Lame, I know. I just did. Super material of me, no question, but also, no apologies.  Guess what showed up in the mail today, courtesy of a new friend, who sent it to me just because? Uh huh. A new (to me) turquoise purse, that she bought in a yoga studio no less! Happy dance happening up in here.
  4. I wanted to raise enough money to fund my Seva Safari project coming up in March.  Let me just say, the event that is now in progress to fund that trip with Africa Yoga Project? It is blowing my fucking MIND. Out of this world awesome happening. I.Can’t.Hardly.Wait. Save the date, by the way, January 24th, you will want to be there. I promise.
  5. I wanted a way to access more fresh produce more often, without paying an arm and a leg or growing things myself (see the dead plant by my front door for an example of just how black my thumb really is). I love Farmer’s Market and all, but um, I also love the way those Presidents look in my wallet, you know? So. Couple that with wanting to teach more yoga classes. Ready for this?Are you seated? I’m teaching Yoga on the Farm the next two Sundays. Guess how I get paid (besides a per student rate)? IN PRODUCE. Organic produce. For teaching yoga. It doesn’t get any more green than that. Literally.
  6. I want to find a way back out of the education system I perpetually find myself in, and make yoga, writing, and wellness coaching a real deal career. Yeah, so, about that, I have had a new job opportunity come my way almost every single day for the last few weeks. Not kidding. Every. Single. Day. Today? Two. Two amazeballs ones, actually. T-W-O. Now to begin negotiations with my calendar, which informed me that “ain’t nobody (okay, me) got time for that.” Pshhhh. Who needs sleep anyway?
  7. I wanted get my business(es) really launched, and make them into something really, well, big. A BFD as it were. Right when I was feeling most uncertain, most unsure of how it was going to work out, e-mails started to trickle in from people I don’t even know thanking me for my writing and telling me how it has helped them. One such contained a whole slew of ideas to raise funds, get publicity and generally make things happen. Motivated, I took some positive action, such as my GoFundMe campaign, and the ball is a rollin’ fast now baby. Here.We.Go.

This is maybe a tenth of what has happened in the last two weeks. A tenth. Just think about that for a minute.

I’m beyond surprised. Beyond.

How can you do it too? Well, I’m not one to tell you how to do things. . . but. . . if you wanted to give it a shot then, you might want to know that: a) I don’t tell. I show. SHOW. It’s different, and b) basically, it has gone down like this:

  1. Decide what I want.
  2. Set a positive intention
  3. Envision it as mine, identify and feel the emotions connected to that want.
  4. Take positive action, allowing no negative thoughts, no exit strategies, no “can’t” to enter my sacred space. Keep the zone umbrella free.
  5. Begin each day with a calm confidence that it will come to be and use a mantra any time doubt enters my mind.
  6. Open my heart, my hands and my eyes.
  7. Say “yes.”
  8. Receive, over, and over, and over again.
  9. Show sincere gratitude.
  10. Repeat

Dare you to try it. Hell, I double dog dare you.

Go see what happens. Make some miracles. Bring some sparkle into your life. You risk nothing by trying and everything by not. You have nothing to lose but your own new experience.

Go. Do it. Go say “yes,” damn it. Then shoot me a line and let me know how it goes. Really, I’d love to hear how it’s going for you.

Still uncertain? Want some help? Support? Ideas? Hit me up, sharing is caring after all. Go to my GoFundMe page, pick a session and I’ll give you a call, promise.

Here’s to the miracles my friends. The big, the small, the everyday, and the unbelievable. Life is extraordinary. Every moment of it, together. Love it, and it will love you back.

Have a happy week.

Like this post? Post it, tweet it, pin it, google it, trip on it, or otherwise spread the social love people.Really, really, like it? Subscribe to my feed and get posts delivered in your inbox. Can’t get enough? Stalk me: @CFOLikeaMother, Facebook or Pinterest