Missed the intro? Read Part One Here In the last few years I’ve learned a lot about how my anxiety became so hardwired into my being, and how it shows up in so many places in my life today. Places I never had considered anxiety could live. Behaviors I never had the language to a … Continue reading HERE
There’s really nothing like dual pandemics to invite in some reflection, is there? There’s really no escape. Nowhere to go to reset. No friends to visit. No hugs. No water cooler to gather ‘round. No community to be in and with. Not a whole lot to do to occupy the mind, except for all the … Continue reading Falling
WAKING UP: PART ONE
We have no structure anymore, just things that need to get done, eventually. I have zoom calls to be on, tasks to complete, research to do. He wants my attention. And food. So much food. But mostly my attention, my undivided, focused, enthusiastic attention.
I just want sleep. And more coffee. And more sleep.
I’m so tired all the time now.
I hope they are able to look back, look now, and look later, and know that they are enough just as they are. What I hope to teach them, instead, is to pivot without attachment, to regulate their own emotions, and to empower them to be them.
But I can’t keep showing up for everyone else when I’m not showing up for myself. I can’t. I physically cannot. I emotionally cannot. I mentally cannot.
I have got to RELENTLESSLY ATTEND TO MY OWN SELF CARE.
I cannot believe I get to have this much love in my life.
And I cannot overstate how hard that is to accept and manage.