We have no structure anymore, just things that need to get done, eventually. I have zoom calls to be on, tasks to complete, research to do. He wants my attention. And food. So much food. But mostly my attention, my undivided, focused, enthusiastic attention. I just want sleep. And more coffee. And more sleep. I’m so tired all the time now.
I hope they are able to look back, look now, and look later, and know that they are enough just as they are. What I hope to teach them, instead, is to pivot without attachment, to regulate their own emotions, and to empower them to be them.
But I can’t keep showing up for everyone else when I’m not showing up for myself. I can’t. I physically cannot. I emotionally cannot. I mentally cannot. I have got to RELENTLESSLY ATTEND TO MY OWN SELF CARE.
So, we did this crazy thing called buying a business while both working full time and having a baby and parenting two big kids and we’ve been living in a time vacuum since last October or so. I often forget what year it is. 2020? 2018? HOW MANY YEARS JUST HAPPENED TODAY?
I cannot believe I get to have this much love in my life. And I cannot overstate how hard that is to accept and manage.
NO. TIRED. I AM FUCKING EXHAUSTED AS FUCK.
I absolutely adore Mondays. Yes. Me. I love them. They’re my favorite. Better than Friday even. Mondays are my vibe day. My creative day. My wear yoga clothes all day, day, my big hearty breakfast day, my work from home in my beautiful office, seated in my cushy turquoise chair, sunlight streaming in the window … Continue reading ALL I (GOTTA) DO IS ZOOMA ZOOM ZOOM
Yesterday, Sunday, I found out that my son had his first cub scouts meeting on Wednesday. Like, five days ago Wednesday. And I just found out about it. FUCK. Now, I know I’m busy, and I sometimes forget things, like, say, my own lunch, but I don’t forget shit like my son’s first cub scout meeting. … Continue reading MAMA DON’T (SHARE)
It’s finally the Monday After (Christmas). My house is quiet while I work, checking emails, surveying the results of an intense five weeks, identifying what’s now ahead. My kids are gone to their dad’s for the week, my husband is lost down an NPR rabbit hole and I’ve already put away and deep cleaned my way … Continue reading TOWARDS THE SUN
It’s that time of year again, uh, again. You know that one. Where your life’s choices are mocked at the dinner table, your little brother wins the best child award for the 27th year in a row, and you spend a lot of quality time with reinforced lycra. Or maybe that’s just me. . . … Continue reading MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS: THE SECOND EPISODE