GREAT EXPECTATIONS

Before this fuck-up of a year is over, I wanna talk about the “E” word You know, the E word. The one that gets you hurt, in trouble, puts your foot in your mouth, the stick up your ass, and your cart in front of your horse.

THE, E word.

Expectations. No, not the great ones…

I want to talk about this so we can all get clear together about the not so small truth that expectations are getting in the way of progress, and happiness, and well, life, really. Not just mine, not just yours, ours. All of ours, and often.

You see, when we expect we create a storyline in our head that must be carried out in order to feel good.

When we expect an event to go a certain way and it does we are mostly satisfied and feel right or successful. When it doesn’t, we can feel a sense of failure, of loss, of disappointment, of dissatisfaction.

Sometimes we even pout about it. For reals. Even us adults. It just looks a lot more like passive aggressive snark than it does foot stomping and bottom lip quivering, usually. Continue reading

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(You’re) Amazing

You did it. You made it. It’s over.

Oh, I’m talking about Valentine’s Day, just in case you were confused. That silly day we mock celebrate every year, just a short six weeks after Christmas. Another day of over-indulgence, over spending, over committing even, perhaps.

Not for me though. I’ll spare you the cliched “love yourself first” spiel and references to “galentines/palentines day” themed parties.  It’s true, and those are fun, but that’s not my point, at least not this time.

Nor is it to point out that I’m like, hopelessly in love and had a perfect day. Ditto to still being stuck in this place.

Nope, this year, I’m just chill. I’m good. Content with my reality, with my kids, with the people in my life, the places I’m going, the things I’m doing and the pace at which it’s all happening.

For real. I’m super chill. Me. Calm. Centered. Grounded. Happy. Like, really.

My life isn’t perfect, but it’s perfectly unpredictable, perfectly full, perfectly dynamic, perfectly messy, perfectly. . . mine.

I own it, and I like it.

It took me a bit to get here, as I admit, I was up on a super emotional high about three weeks ago then hit a full out crash and burn the succeeding two weeks (can you say adrenal fatigue three times fast?).  That’s always been my cycle, actually. But that’s how it goes, the rhythm of life. You aren’t always up, you aren’t always down, and you rarely stay completely level.

You bounce. You rock. You roll. You ride. You ebb. You flow. You stop. You start. You change.

You— when life gets bumpy—you are changing. High five you.

We don’t change by doing the same thing over and over again, we grow by changing shit up, and you know that.

Fortunately but unfortunately, sometimes this makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes we get excited. Sometimes we get a little. . . uncomforcited even.

Change can be hard. Change can be icky.

Change can be a battlefield as we struggle to generate an outcome which we’re not even certain we want.

What gets us through to the other side though, whether it be a crappy Valentine’s day or the trip of a lifetime, is our response.

We can’t control much else besides our reactions, that much I know to be (painfully) true. Really. For me, besides practicing yoga, when given the opportunity to choose my response (so like, you know, all day every day), I keep coming back to these agreements:

  1. Be impeccable with my word.
  2. Don’t take anything personally.
  3. Don’t make assumptions.
  4. Always do my best.

Returning to those, especially when my check ego light comes on,  is like hitting reset. And to make it even simpler, cleaner, more user-friendly, in sum, I come back to our family motto- “Be Amazing.”

That’s it. One phrase. Two words. To the best of my abilities, I want to:

Be. Amazing.

In everything I do. In everything I say. In every memory I create. In everything I am, stand for, represent and support. In every response.  Life is too short to be anything less.

Go. Do. See. Learn. Be, Amazing.

*Sidenote- I had these family necklaces made by my friend Jen Dobson of Alternate Route for the kids and I.  Are they not the most, uh, amazing things ever? 

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