I DID IT ALL FOR THE COOKIE?

When I finished my first Yoga Teacher Training I recieved a bracelet infused by my teacher with a metaphorical “Chocolate Chip Cookie,” I was confused by this, to say the least.

My clarification came as “well, you’re hard on the outside, but warm and gooey on the inside.”

This pissed me off. A lot. I did not like this. At.All. This, was NOT what I wanted to hear at the end of my 200 hours of sweat and tears. I wanted validation, not another assignment.

Because, I am not, a chocolate chip cookie, thankyouverymuch. I am nice, and warm, and approachable, and EVERYONE LIKES ME! Continue reading

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BET MY LIFE

So. Tonight I’m getting on a plane. With my boyfriend. And tomorrow morning, we’ll land in New York City, and I’ll be….

THIRTY FIVE FUCKING YEARS OLD.

Holy wow.

I can’t even.

Really. I just can’t even wrap my head around this amazing space right now.

Every year of my thirties has brought tremendous change, and quite honestly, each year has been better than the last. Continue reading

WHOLEHEARTED

About three years ago I made a commitment to myself to just be me.

Not the me my parents wanted me to be. Not the me my 25 year old self had told myself was what happy looked like. Not the me the media told me to be. Not the me to whom the marketed dream life sold memberships. Not the me the internet lives of my social groups suggested I change myself to be.

Just me. No apologies. No exceptions. No excuses.

The struggle was, of course, I wasn’t entirely sure who that was anymore.

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UNION

I had lots of topics to write about in my head early today. Lots of emotions. Lots of processing. Lost of word vomit I wanted to spew into my whitespace.

I had started several pieces, made some notes, generated some sentences and gathered my thoughts.

I went to lead my College classes this afternoon, prepared to teach some vocabulary, dive into our first chapter and spend some time attempting to make a college textbook feel less like a threat and more like a good and resourceful friend.

My first class went just like that. It was quite nice. I walked into my second section with good energy, a revised and improved lesson plan, and authentic presence.

Then, about 20 minutes in,

We went on lockdown.

Continue reading