(You’re) Amazing

You did it. You made it. It’s over.

Oh, I’m talking about Valentine’s Day, just in case you were confused. That silly day we mock celebrate every year, just a short six weeks after Christmas. Another day of over-indulgence, over spending, over committing even, perhaps.

Not for me though. I’ll spare you the cliched “love yourself first” spiel and references to “galentines/palentines day” themed parties.  It’s true, and those are fun, but that’s not my point, at least not this time.

Nor is it to point out that I’m like, hopelessly in love and had a perfect day. Ditto to still being stuck in this place.

Nope, this year, I’m just chill. I’m good. Content with my reality, with my kids, with the people in my life, the places I’m going, the things I’m doing and the pace at which it’s all happening.

For real. I’m super chill. Me. Calm. Centered. Grounded. Happy. Like, really.

My life isn’t perfect, but it’s perfectly unpredictable, perfectly full, perfectly dynamic, perfectly messy, perfectly. . . mine.

I own it, and I like it.

It took me a bit to get here, as I admit, I was up on a super emotional high about three weeks ago then hit a full out crash and burn the succeeding two weeks (can you say adrenal fatigue three times fast?).  That’s always been my cycle, actually. But that’s how it goes, the rhythm of life. You aren’t always up, you aren’t always down, and you rarely stay completely level.

You bounce. You rock. You roll. You ride. You ebb. You flow. You stop. You start. You change.

You— when life gets bumpy—you are changing. High five you.

We don’t change by doing the same thing over and over again, we grow by changing shit up, and you know that.

Fortunately but unfortunately, sometimes this makes us uncomfortable. Sometimes we get excited. Sometimes we get a little. . . uncomforcited even.

Change can be hard. Change can be icky.

Change can be a battlefield as we struggle to generate an outcome which we’re not even certain we want.

What gets us through to the other side though, whether it be a crappy Valentine’s day or the trip of a lifetime, is our response.

We can’t control much else besides our reactions, that much I know to be (painfully) true. Really. For me, besides practicing yoga, when given the opportunity to choose my response (so like, you know, all day every day), I keep coming back to these agreements:

  1. Be impeccable with my word.
  2. Don’t take anything personally.
  3. Don’t make assumptions.
  4. Always do my best.

Returning to those, especially when my check ego light comes on,  is like hitting reset. And to make it even simpler, cleaner, more user-friendly, in sum, I come back to our family motto- “Be Amazing.”

That’s it. One phrase. Two words. To the best of my abilities, I want to:

Be. Amazing.

In everything I do. In everything I say. In every memory I create. In everything I am, stand for, represent and support. In every response.  Life is too short to be anything less.

Go. Do. See. Learn. Be, Amazing.

*Sidenote- I had these family necklaces made by my friend Jen Dobson of Alternate Route for the kids and I.  Are they not the most, uh, amazing things ever? 

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4 thoughts on “(You’re) Amazing

  1. Jeffrey Trapnell says:

    I liked your comment, “I own it and I like it.” I wonder if you ever felt like you were losing something or if you were getting a greater expanse, a newer brighter world on top of what you already have.

    As a member of AA and sponsoring a new attendee we talked about “not taking anything away” but going forward with what you have and know. There already have been and going to be more resets in their life. They challenged me to their sorrow of losing something, losing a way of life they had known for so long but was no longer was working out for them.

    Just curious.


    • ctfdmama says:

      Me personally, no I didn’t feel a sense of loss, in particular just gain. There was some fear in letting go of what was known, albeit uncomfortable, but I knew without question it was time. I was unhappy, giving that old life, that inauthentic version of me, filled me up. It inspired me. I felt alive, finally and fully. How awesome that you’re sponsoring someone; they are lucky to have you!

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